1 large apple, blended
Cocktail shaker (a.k.a. NYC cab)
Sour mix (as in, the disposition of the cab driver)
3 friends (filled with Caribbean zest and joie de vivre)
Vodka (Grey Goose or Smirnoff, you choose)
Ice cubes (a.k.a. cool city temperatures)
1. After a late night in Manhattan, persistently hail a cab to get to Brooklyn.
2. Put 3 tired yet mellow friends, 1 part apple, and I part sour mix (i.e. obnoxious driver) in vehicle. Close the door, state destination, and lean back to relax for the ride home.
3. Jerk upright and hold on tight as the crazy driver zigzags dangerously down the street. Expect vigorous shaking and swaying to continue for at least 2 minutes. Quickly decipher that your cabbie does NOT want to go to Brooklyn that late at night and he is annoyed that you are already inside.
4. Ask him firmly, and calmly, to slow down. Strain to hear his response as the unbalanced man turns his radio volume up to full blast.
5. Stir the situation by knocking on the partition and yelling over the music to STOP THE VEHICLE. For extra garnish, add with accented splash, “Do it NOW!”
6. Get out Manhattan glass – fast. Take the subway and enjoy a good girlie giggle on the way home.
Master Blender’s Notes:
For a long time I thought that the taxi drivers in my home country, Jamaica, were uniquely unpredictable. In general, our roads are narrow and often chock-full of potholes so it takes special skills to navigate them safely.
But as I grew up and began to travel, I realized that we are not the only country or place that has public transportation issues. While the road surface may be better in some areas, the random craziness that emanates from cab drivers seems to be a common denominator wherever you go.
I’ve been taken on other wild and/or circuitous rides in big cities like São Paulo and Shanghai. And during one visit to Cairo, I noticed that the cars drove with their headlights off at night. What’s more, the white lines in the road are a suggestion; not a strict guideline. The vehicles bob and weave across the line as they choose.
So while I filed that Manhattan ride as another “authentic big city experience”, I know that New York cab drivers can be zany but they don’t have the copyright on crazy!